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Becoming a Mom after 40

Motherhood came later in life for me. I am 42. Unlike many women, I am fortunate that there was no battle to get here. For some, a delay in becoming a parent is not a choice, and I can only imagine how agonizing that must be. 

For me however, it was a cognizant decision. I always knew that I wanted to be well prepared for the hardest yet most rewarding endeavor I will ever pursue. That groundwork involved completing my education, establishing my business, and being with the right partner.

Within the fitness industry, I am not alone in starting a family in my 40s. In fact, many of my peers had their children after 35. It’s a popular topic of discussion, and one I feel should be aired publicly. There are inevitably many advantages to having a baby when you’re young, such as less risks of complications and possibly having more energy. 

Nevertheless, I have discovered that I experience a wonderful sense of calm about being a mother in my 40s. It stems from a feeling of fulfillment. I exceeded all self-imposed expectations in my fitness career. I travelled extensively, and have resided in diverse places including Canada, Bermuda, Barbados, and now Mexico. I have zero regrets. I genuinely feel no envy toward others for what they were able to accomplish as I’m proud to say that I have developed into the most efficient version of myself.

The reality is, being an older Mom is my life’s greatest blessing. Much of my adult life has been spent doing exactly what I wanted; traveling, launching my career, and nurturing my relationship with my partner, Marcello. I am, without a doubt, more patient, less selfish and a great deal wiser than I was a decade ago. The extended period prior to becoming a parent has helped to shape my perspective on motherhood. I now appreciate entirely that Zuri is a gift to be cherished. 

For me, a liberating aspect of being older is the ability to disregard the timelines dictated by society. So often we are reminded that a woman’s fertility is time-sensitive, and we must achieve particular milestones by a certain age. I felt suffocated by all the time restraints. I know of many friends who have experienced feelings of failure when they have not accomplished these milestones. We are all unique and each one of us deserves to follow our individual paths at our own pace. 

I’m so glad I delayed motherhood until this special time in my life. In my case, I am certain that waiting to have Zuri has brought me a stronger family focus, and undeniably, better parenting.

Always trust in your journey.

xo Ryall

www.ryallgraber.com

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